Fear No Evil

 Terrorists attacked Paris. 

 I board a plane to New York City for a business trip. 

A video was released threatening New York. 

 I walk in Times Square.

The U.S. declares a high alert to all travelers. 

I board a plane in New York City. 

My time in New York City was unexpected...but not in the way I ever wanted or planned. I imagined new adventures not high-alerts. I envisioned funny stories not life-endangering threats.

Fear is a powerful weapon. Our enemies use it against us because they believe it has the power to cripple us. Fear lives inside us...it is a part of us. The right amount of fear makes us safe. The wrong amount of fear keeps us paralyzed. It's a balance we all know well. It's a balance we all struggle with.

This generation, my generation, grew up learning and living with the remnants of world wars. We've lived through multiple terrorist attacks on our country. Fear beckoning us with each popping headline and jarring news report to see our world as hellish, crazy, and dangerous. At times it all just feels so uncontrollable, as if a solution is unimaginable, a problem to complex to solve, a gap too big to ever be mended.

But then I spend a weekend with two pretty spectacular people I get to call family and I know everything will be alright. You see Love triumphs over fear. Love triumphs over evil. It always has...and it always will. It's the genetics off our humanity. It may get bad...it may get really bad...but Love finds a way. It always has...it always will.

A few years ago I walked in Times Square. Past experiences making me vulnerable to fear and anxiety. I spent the entire time afraid of history repeating itself. Fast forward to now, I walked those same streets. The streets lined with NYPD officers, members of the military with machine guns...and I was not afraid. The unexpected guest walking with me was certainty. Despite the threats and alerts, the voices ringing in our mind to be afraid, I was certain no matter what happened I would be okay regardless. I knew who I was and I knew whose I was...nothing else mattered. A simple but profound revelation finally put to the test.

I could've spent a whole trip giving into fear and all I would've remembered about my time in NYC was that fear. I chose to spend the weekend having fun, living in love, with two amazingly brave cousins of mine. We three chose to engage not disengage. We did not let fear control our time together. Were there moments of fear and anxiety...absolutely. Yet we chose to move past them. We chose not to give in to it.

We cannot control when we will be afraid. Life is uncertain, experiences are unexpected and unplanned. Fear is a natural part of who we are. We can however authentically choose what to do with that fear.

-Authentically Unafraid Me

New York State Of Mind

New York City. The Big Apple. The place were millions live, work, struggle, have fun, and live their busy lives. No one can be more authentic I feel than a true New Yorker! This great city of New York will always be special to me for many reasons. I've traveled here several times over the years. First with family, school, friends. NYC is an incredibly fun, vibrant place filled with opportunity.

The minute you step into the city there is a current in the air, a vibe, a ripple, an unstated knowing that maybe just maybe something unexpectedly wonderful could happen. That's my New York state of mind. To hope for the unexpected. It's been three years since I walked these busy streets of New York. A lot has changed...but I'm glad some things never do.

Maybe because it's fall...but there is change in the air. First the leaves, then the weather, the clothes in my closet...it all is transitoning. Change, transitioning, is hard. At times it will always be hard, but if looked at in a different way it can be FUN too.

Here's to fall, change, business trips that turn into girly weekend getaways, and embracing an old but always new city I love.

More to come on NYC!

-Authentically Me

Say No To Say Yes

Sometimes in life you have to say no in order to say yes.

Requests come and come often. Requests, I find, are questions with hopeful outcomes. People ask with the purpose and pursuit you will follow through, you will take action the way they want you to. We get requests all the time...and we usually don't hesitate to step up and say yes. We give, give and give, and give some more. To the point where all we want to do is curl up in our comfy bed, turn the lights off and shut the world out.

Wanting to shut the world out is not the real problem...the real problem is shutting ourselves out. We don't listen to our own minds. We are not "mindful" of ourselves, our own needs and desires.

Don't get me wrong saying yes is a huge part of my job. I fulfill many requests. It's just part of the gig and I do love it. I enjoy completing tasks and "getting things done". My friends coined me "the machine" because I am efficient and strategic. Give me a project and give me 20 minutes...I'll have it done and done in a more streamlined, organized, put together way than you could ever imagine. I love saying yes, saying yes and fulfilling those requests makes me feel purposeful, needed, valued. BUT there is a line. Finding the line, knowing the line, adhering to the line...is the problem.

Where is the line between nice and pushed over? Where is the line between helpful and enabling? Where is the line between our authentic self and the self we tap into simply to get through the day?

The up front and honest truth is: we define the line. It is not up to others to set our boundaries. It is not someone else's responsibility to create the parameters for our lives. It is ours and ours alone. It is our opportunity. Opportunity? Yes, opportunity. When we are mindful, when we are in tune with our authentic self, we are able to...wait for it...we are able to say: N.O. NO.

You don't have to say no spitefully, bitterly, critically, or any other negative way! The point is not to all of a sudden assert your dominance, to rise up within your "self" and demand your way or the high way...that's another thing all together. The point is to have the self-awareness, self-understanding to realize WHY you are saying NO. You are saying no because:

-you are not the right person for the job...just cause you can doesn't mean you should
-you have other pressing matters to address
-you need time to think it through....stop and think before saying yes
-you are open to wait for something better
-your gut tells you so...trust your instincts
-you just need time alone...self-care says so
-you are not the one responsible for doing it...stretching yourself thin is not a solution

Often times we feel bad if we say no. We feel we are letting someone down or rather letting ourselves down for not being able to "do it all". After all we are in the 21st century! We should be able to have it all and do it all at the same time right?! Wrong. We are only one person. We only have a certain number of hours in the day. It's a good thing! It allows us the opportunity to choose. We get the chance to choose how we want to spend our day. Choose wisely.

You see saying NO allows you the opportunity to say YES to something else.

Saying no frees you up to say yes to a multitude of other opportunities you actually care, are passionate about. Prioritizing your time according to your authentic needs, desires, makes you live with a more loved, more secure, happier, more peaceful and content mind-set. It makes you feel connected. It makes you feel truly a part of something incredible to authentically you. You are actively engaged in your life rather than mindlessly subjected to your life.

People will respect you for it. We might think saying no will cause problems, people need us to fulfill all those requests, right!? What happens if we don't? People respect people who respect themselves. I personally find authenticity refreshing. I am talking about authenticity not selfishness. There is a big difference. People respond well when given a genuine, truthful answer...even if it isn't the answer they were looking for. Don't make excuses or justify...simply speak truth. "I can't I just have too much going on right now. Maybe another time." or "That sounds like a great opportunity, but I believe I'm not the right person for the job." You can even go further and say, "I really want to say yes, and a part of me feels like I should, in the past I would have without thinking about it but right now I am trying to only do what I feel I need to do." Say what you think and what you really feel. People will respond to your authenticity. If they don't respond well...it's probably a good thing you didn't say yes.

We have jobs, we have tasks that we have to do. The way we do it, the way we engage, the way we speak, act, think, process, communicate...is up to us. It is our opportunity to interact with our world. It is our chance to be authentically us. Say no so that you can say yes to authentically you.

-Authentically ME

Sky Dive In

Sometimes you just need to take a day off and jump out of an airplane...

Check it off the bucket list! Skydiving is an unbelievable and truly an EPIC experience. Thrilled I got to share it with my amazing friend, Becca. Thanks to Chattanooga Skydiving Company for making this happen!

Five Lessons From Skydiving:

1. Waiting Game: It's about a 3hr process so expect to wait a bit before you jump
2. Just Do It: Don't think about it...just dive.
3. Brace For The Harness: The hardest part is the jerk of the parachute
4. Expect Bruises: You just might wake up the next day with a few bruises
5. Ask Questions: When in doubt ask your instructor

This year has been one adventure after another and I wouldn't have it any other way. Life can be crazy stressful, up, down, and all around. Taking time to challenge yourself, to get over fear, to feel some adrenaline is a great way to just put a smile on your face!

-Authentically Me

Round 2

One year ago I started graduate school. Looking back ROUND 1 was a crazy 9 months of trying to dive back into the academic world. After being out of the ring for three years, it took some adjustment to juggle a full work-load, study-load, and just enjoying being back in my hometown. 

Fall 2014

Let me just say....#gradschoollife is a thing! There is a unique frame of mind and life pattern to these in-between years that most twenty-somethings are living now a days. No matter what profession your higher education is calling you towards graduate school is...weird. 

Most choose to work and do school...let's just say that's not for the faint of heart. It takes a great multi-tasker who literally wants to put their social life on the back burner. Others decide to simply "do school" for several years, hoping for a GA position to become available so they can afford their daily ramen and cut back on student loans. 

Grad school is like marriage...people tell you that it's going to be hard but you ignore them because you think you'll be the exception...then you get into it and realize....dang it this IS hard! Studying isn't what makes graduate school hard, taking difficult tests is not what makes graduate school hard, writing papers into the wee hours of the morning or dealing with group partners is not what makes graduate school hard...what makes graduate school hard is learning how to still have a LIFE while in grad school! 

This was the biggest challenge for ROUND 1 of graduate school for me. I was working at a job that provided no sense of purpose, I was spending my nights in rather than out with friends,  my weekends were used preparing assignments for the week, and all the while I felt myself slowly slipping away from simply Authentically Me. 

You see, LIFE gives LIFE. LIFE breathes LIFE. I cannot have LIFE without first living LIFE. A simple thought but a powerful one. What gives you LIFE? For me it's a list of about five things. Some days I am able to incorporate all five and its a great day, some days I can only do one. Yet, if at least I just do one of them a day I feel lighter, less burdened by all that my task lists entail. 

As school starts back up this is on the forefront of my mind for ROUND 2. I want to relax into a balance of work-school-life. The up front and honest truth is this though: if I don't start now I never will have it. If I...if we...don't start trying to incorporate the habits and life styles we want in five, ten, twenty years NOW we will never ever have it THEN. 

Another truth is this: I have a great job that gives me purpose and joy, a school that fills my passions, and a beautiful LIFE filled with people that I love living it with. I am more and more thankful and grateful everyday for this little LIFE that is MINE. I am more humbled that I am able to LIVE it and be a part of this small piece of time that I have been called to be present in. 

So here I am...ready for ROUND 2 and all that I hope it will bring. Here's to stepping back into the boxing ring that is #gradschoollife for the second time!!

-Authentically Me

The Promise of Summer

Summer. There is an unexplainable and immeasurable beauty to be found within it. We look forward to it and miss it when it is gone. These brief months called summer seem to hold a promise. A promise, a hope, that something unexpected just might be around the corner.  

The last few summers for me were all filled with the unexpected. Unexpected adventures, life changes, travels, and new experiences. Why else do we love summer then the freedom it seems to bring? Freedom from the normal, freedom to do and be, to feel and just breathe. A surpassing joy seems to fill each new day and carries itself into the warmth of each summer night.

We find the time to be out and about, to explore, to take on the things we always wanted to do the last nine months. We stop making checklists and start making to-do lists. I want to do this...I would love to do that...I would love to go there...wouldn't it be amazing if we could just do that! Maybe it is me, but we come alive in the summer! We live our lives in a way we rarely do the rest of the year.

It is funny but summers are always life-changing for me. Each year in a unique way summers seem to grow me, refine me, make me see life in a new way. They bring me closer to authentically me. Summer reminds me more of who I am and of who I hope to be. It is not always the things I do, or the incredible places I see that influence this process, usually it's the people I meet, the friends or family by my side that seem to change it all.

This summer the adventure was traveling the Mediterranean with my family. We explored Spain, France, Monaco, Italy, Greece, and Turkey. 6 countries in 15 days. Life-changing in every way this experience was truly one for the record books. Never have I seen so much beauty! The people, the way of life, the food, the culture, the epic landscape. Here is just a taste of the many wonders we experienced:

Summer holds a promise. A hope that right around the corner just might be the next great adventure. More than anything this summer's adventure is joy. Summer's unexpected guest truly is joy. Joy from exploration and journeying to places I've dreamed of going. Joy from being with friends and family. More than anything, joy at finding peace within myself. 

What has this summer brought you? What unexpected adventure did you take this summer? I hope more than anything that it brought you closer to who you authentically are. 

-Authentically Me

43 years and counting....

STONE FAMILY REUNION: 43 YEARS AND COUNTING....

It started with a hope, a simple but profound hope to connect. Rarely in our world today do we strive to stay connected. Our relational tethers break and strain over the years. High school friends come and go, college friends fizzle, we meet and greet, build and depart, connect and disconnect on repeat over the course of our lives. These ten siblings decided to be the exception.

In the hopes of staying connected to each other they chose to do something truly remarkable. They chose to be with one anther...no matter what life might bring their way. Not only did they choose this for themselves but they created a legacy which continues to last four generations and 43 years later. This unique legacy is what my family calls the Stone Family Reunion. 

Held for the last ten years at Lake D'arbonne in north Louisiana, nearly one hundred family members gather for one week to celebrate life. We cook, play, laugh, and smile our way through seven days of absolute fun! It would take many blog posts to fully incorporate all that we do and how amazing this week truly is, but here are some of the highlights!

The Stone Family Reunion only comes around once a year. I've grown up going and I will always chose to go...no matter what. People think we are crazy for wanting to spend a week with our family....then again they've never experienced this one! I am lucky to be a part of such an amazing group of people who genuinely care about one anther. 

What people rarely understand is that the Stone Circle doesn't last just one week...it lasts all year long. No matter what life may bring outside of our time at Lake D'arbonne we are in it together. We pray, support, and encourage each other all year long. We visit when we can and we are always willing to lend a helping hand if needed. 

The bond that binds us, the blood that makes us, the beauty held within the reunion is the authentic love we give to one another. It this legacy that the original ten shared all those years ago. It is this tradition we carry with us. It this legacy we pass on to the next generation. 

-Authentically Me