What's Your Happy Place?

Sunshine on my skin. Smell of salty air. Sound of lapping waves against a sandy shore. Crystal, clear, cool, blue water. Blissful peace.

I don't recall ever consciously deciding to fall in love with the ocean, yet I must have for it has been a true love affair my entire life. I have traveled this world many times over and I still cannot find a more lovelier place than sitting on the edge of a beach, my toes dipping into warm sand, and having powerful, cool waves wash over me. 

It is my Happy Place. 

A Happy Place is a location, an experience, a moment in time that captures our hearts and refreshes our soul. For some it is a moment of transformative thought, for others a blissful peace, for others an electrical bolt of pure life. 

For me it's a simplistic moment on a trip my family took to St. John before my senior year of high-school. My parents 25th Anniversary meant a little fun trip to the Virgin Islands for them for a few days and then my brother and I joined them so that they could in-a-sense re-affirm the commitment they had made to one another on the white sandy beaches of beautiful St. John. 

My Happy Place is an afternoon I spent on the beach with nothing to do but feel absolutely still and full. It was a transcending peace and harmonizing beauty that took my breath away and continues to do so whenever I think of my Happy Place. I have never felt more me, more Authentically Me than I have in those glorious hours basking in the breathtaking creation around me. 

What's Your Happy Place?

........Being a southern gal, Florida beaches are where I went growing going. Just for fun here are my top three!.......

1) Sea Grove, Florida

2) Long Boat Key, Florida

3) Seaside, Florida

                                                                                 

-Authentically Me

Life's Little Surprises

What is beauty? 
Every woman has thought about this question.

What is beauty? 

Every woman has tried to answer it.

What is beauty? 

Every woman has sought to measure up to it.

At this point in this post, I can do one of two things. I can dive in and try to convince you to live authentically in your own beauty...or I can start by just telling you a part of my own story.

As a child I was told two very distinct messages:

Message One: You are beautiful.

My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman, inside and out, and growing up I was told that I looked just like her. “Oh, your just as beautiful as your Momma!" "You look just like your mother did at your age.” “Aren’t you just the spittin image of your mother!” As a child I found it both comforting and at the same time daunting, for I was simultaneously given approval by others and yet a measure in which to base my own beauty. If my mom was considered beautiful and I somewhat looked like her then a+b=c.

Message Two: You are not beautiful.

Media, friends, magazines, family, movies, teachers, and classmates all in different ways in different moments stated the same message. That message was being beautiful means being a certain size, looking a certain way, having that certain body type. So the take away from all those experiences was that I was not beautiful unless I fit into the mold of “that certain body type”. So once again a+b = c.

Now if you’ve paid attention, you may notice that Message One and Message Two completely contradict one another. So what could I do given those mixed messages? Well, I personally chose to believe that in some way I was acceptable but just not ever quite enough, I would just never be enough for x or y or z. 

Let's face it, beauty is at the very core of who we are as women, the desire for it, the achievement of it, the rejection of it, the complacency of it. You get the idea. Regardless of how we may think or feel about the subject, at some point in all of our lives we must face the question: what do I think beauty is and what am I going to do about it…

I myself have had to look into the mirror (forgive the expression) on this subject. My own journey in the question of beauty has been up and down and all around over the course of my life. However, there have been several “little surprises” along the way that have helped open up my eyes to the truth.

A week ago I did something I never thought I would ever do, emphasis on the ever. A week ago I completed my first “official” modeling gig. This whole endeavor began two years ago when I had the opportunity to be introduced to and spend time with one of the most wonderful families, the Radtke’s. It was then that I learned how Peter and Magda Radtke, along with their daughter Antje, owned and operated a small business called JustNeem.

For those of you who don’t know, JustNeem (justneem.com) is a for profit company with a non-profit mind-set, meaning that their overall goal is to help support the people of Mauritania by supporting job creation, economic development, and neem tree planting. The neem tree has high-medicinal qualities that have been used for centuries. JustNeem uses the oil from the Neem tree to produce unbelievable body and skin care items such as soaps, lotions, etc. All their products are made with the finest cosmetic grade raw materials and contain naturally grown neem and other pure ingredients that help sustain healthy and soothe irritated skin. Their neem comes from their own orchards grown organically in the deserts of Africa. One of their unique products is the straight neem oil which can be used for anything from a bug bite to a burn, to simply refreshing the skin. One of my favorites is their Neem Clay Mask! (You’ll see why soon!)

                             

A couple of months ago, Magda reached out and asked me to help model for them in their upcoming tutorial video for their JustNeem Clay Mask. Despite my general nervousness about my lack of experience, I agreed whole-heartedly simply because I love them and I believe absolutely in their product and what they are doing!

So there I was last Monday in The Skin Care Spa (skinspaofwakeforest.com) in Wakeforest, NC. I was covered in a green mask, acting as best as I could, and remaining as serene as possible while a licensed esthetician, Lisa, taught a DIY facial via camera. I am not going to lie, it was the most surreal, fun, laughing-induced, crazy, and simply fantastic four hours I have had in a long time. The video itself will be out hopefully before the holidays and I will of course do a follow-up so that you can see it live in action!

In this life there are little surprises. They are unexpected experiences that bring joy and new life to our souls. These little surprises, in my experience, often bring about truth where there was once a lie. It strikes the core of who we are and what we believe about ourselves. By doing something completely out of my normal zone like spending a morning modeling a green face mask, I was able to open myself up to experience one of those core-striking, truth-revealing moments.

I was once again reminded that Message 2: You Are Not Beautiful will always be there. Someone, something, some ad, some commercial, will always be telling you to be more, to be less, to be this, to be that. Yet, the hardest truth for some of us is that we have always been the ones telling ourselves that message. “I am not beautiful because of x or y or z.”

However, Message 1: You Are Beautiful can only be true if we claim it. You can be told your whole life that you are an incredibly beautiful person, but if you don’t accept it, let yourself receive it, take it in, believe it, and claim the truth of it for yourself…it means absolutely nothing.

I have come to decide for myself that beauty is not arrogance, beauty is not pride, beauty is not narcissism or vanity, beauty is certainly not a certain size or look. Beauty is graciousness, beauty is truth-telling, beauty is peacefulness and steadfastness in trials, beauty is being humble, beauty is a passionate heart, beauty is thoughtful wisdom, beauty is a loving gaze and a kind embrace. Beauty is loving who you are for who you are. The way of beauty is a shift-gazing outlook and inlook at our world and ourselves.

Bobbi Brown, creator of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, once said that, “The secret to beauty is simple, be who you are.” I love Bobbi Brown and her philosophy, yet I would add that the secret to beauty is simple…be authentically you.

-Authentically Me

Find Life In The Small Things

We are on the precipice of the busiest time of the year, which ironically is also supposed to be the happiest time of the year…holiday season. No longer just Christmas, holiday season encompasses the pre-party, aka Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then the final wrap up with the New Year’s Eve bash. Some may or may not include Valentine’s Day in this line up of holiday events. Bottom line…we are in for three to four months of exhaustion on top of everything else that makes up our lives like work, school, and the all too long to-do-lists.

A couple of holiday seasons ago something marvelous and rare happened. The sort of unique and fleeting moment that only comes once in a lifetime. Desperate to indulge in some much needed me-time, given the course load and overall exhaustion of a semester at school, I chose to spend the morning sitting in my parent’s sunroom reading. Cuddled up on our large sofa, a steady fire warming my skin, hot apple cider within reaching distance, my ears heard a sound long before my eyes caught sight of its presence. A rustling noise, the faint sound of softness colliding against itself, then a slight tapping ever so gently made its way into my senses.

Curiosity led me to look and it was then that my eyes saw what my ears had first heard. Outside, separated only be a glass door, lay a brilliant cardinal perched ever so comfortably on the back of one of our out-door chairs. 

Its black face a deep contrast to the flaming red feathers that fluttered as he moved. I couldn’t help but be amused at the way his dark petite eyes seemed to for a moment find mine. I remember I stopped breathing, moving, afraid that I might make it fly away. His head turned ever so slightly as if I was the one who had surprised him. He lowered his head slightly, his beak tapping the woven black wood of the chair, digging through the fresh fallen snow, only to look back up at me once more. His head lowered once again, but this time as if acknowledging me, as if it was an intimate greeting between old friends. A quiet stillness filled the moment, a soft blissful peace.

In that simple moment curled up by the fire, glancing out into the backyard of white snow, I caught sight of something truly and genuinely magnificent. I had found life in the smallest of things.

I watched on as the cardinal lifted its crimson wings and departed from my side. A deep smile fell over my face at the knowledge that I had been witness to something beautiful, something genuine, real, bona-fide, authentic. It was a once in a lifetime probably never to be repeated moment in my life. 

The symbol of the cardinal follows me no matter where my feet may take me. From that moment to this one, I continue to find that same transcending stillness and peace whenever I see the image of a cardinal. It has become a gentle reminder of rare moments of authenticity, a sweet urging whisper to take a breath, to stop, to look, to find life in the small things.

-Authentically Me

FRIENDS

In order to have the power of a phoenix, in order to be Authentically You, one thing must be in place. One thing must be set in stone, constant, founded, and unmoving… FRIENDS.

As much as Authentically Me likes to think that she is her own beautiful island, the truth still remains that we are hard and heart-wired for connection. We yearn and crave, desire and quench for relationships.

By any U.S. standard I am a very poor person outwardly. I am a recent college grad working for a small non-profit. I live paycheck to pay check. I am honestly truly grateful if I can pay my bills, pay off my debt, and go to the grocery store each month! Yet in the things that really matter, like friendships, I am a gizillionaire. I am truly rich in FRIENDS.

FRIENDS take effort. 

FRIENDS take time. 

FRIENDS take energy. 

FRIENDS take selflessness.

BUT....

FRIENDS give life. 

FRIENDS give love. 

FRIENDS give comfort. 

FRIENDS give wisdom. 

FRIENDS give joy. 

FRIENDS give helping hands. 

FRIENDS give laughter. 

FRIENDS give hope. 

FRIENDS give direction. 

FRIENDS give an open heart.

FRIENDS help you be Authentically You.

My FRIENDS come in all different kinds of packages. They all have different personalities, life-experiences, family-types, shapes, sizes, passions, dreams. My FRIENDS have each come into my life in so many unique ways, yet the one thing that they all have in common is that they love me for Authentically Me. 

That is why I feel and know that I am so rich. To be seen, to be known fully, and to be accepted not rejected is a treasure that is greater than any sum of money or any priceless jewel.

I trust them. I lean on them. I take comfort in them. I know that no matter what….

Alyssa will always greet me with a loving smile, a comforting embrace and a listening ear.

Becca will always encourage me, share with me our passions for those wounded, and look at me with Jesus’ eyes

Morgan will always show me the light in my own darkness, she will never let me forget who I am as Authentically Me

Ashley will always make me smile, she will always lift me up, she will always help me see what could be

Amber will always be with me, she will never let me believe lies, she will hold my hand through the fire, through the storm, through the wonder

Keri Anne will always bring me truth, she will never let me loose sight of Jesus and his loving promises, she will always bring joy

Margaret will always point my gaze to the real things, she will always forgive, she will exude warmth

Hannah will always build me up, she will always make me feel worthy, she will always make me feel special 

Rebecca will always love, she will always care, she will always listen and give hope

Brittany will love selflessly, she will comfort, she will listen, she will share in the joy and sorrow

Haley will always remind me of God’s goodness and faithfulness, she will always be a source of strength and kindness

Claire will always bring me fresh new joy and life, she will always remind me of courage and God’s answer to prayers

FRIENDS help you be Authentically You. These FRIENDS help me be Authentically Me.

Find your FRIENDS, name them, share with them what they do for your, remind them just how much you couldn’t be Authentically You without them. Love them, but more than anything LET them love you.

LET them in to the pain, LET them in to the hurt, the sorrows, the joys, the amazement, the wonder. 


LET them join you, LET them walk with you, LET them journey with you in this truly wonderful and crazy, chaotic and blissful life.

-Authentically Me

Power of the Phoenix

There are some moments that turn your whole world upside down. What was once your reality has now been altered and there is absolutely no going back. We all have these moments and no matter the situation there is no bigger or smaller amount of impact than another. It just is. You can call it whatever you want: change, an alternate course, a new path, a shift. The honest truth is that life just hits you, knocks you down, flattens you, and you are left picking up the pieces; broken, fractured, and shattered as they are.

This has happened in my own life several times. Each time forcing me to ask the same daunting question, do I have what it takes? Can I really get through this!? Jesus, how in the world do I even do this?

In those pivotal moments where my racing arrowed thoughts create chaos within my mind, I have to make a choice. Stay stuck or move on, stay stuck and held down or break free and get stronger.

I must admit that I have not always chosen the later. Sometimes it just is easier to stay stuck, to stay muddled in the chaos and held up within yourself. Yet what good am I that way? What good can I do when I am caught within my own mind, within my body, within my own soul and sorrows? None. None. None. One more time, none.

Life fractures us all in some way. It is inevitable. It is what we do with these fractures, what we do as fractured, broken people that speaks of who we are, that speaks of our character, that speaks of who you are as Authentically You.

You can choose to let those unexpected blips in the perfect plan you created in your mind set you back for the rest of your life. You can let the secrets, you can let the pain, you can let the un-met expectations, let the heart break define the rest of your life. You can let it take you down a road you never wished to be on. You can let it turn you into someone you never wanted to be or you can choose to rise above it. You can choose to have the power of a phoenix. 

You can choose to rise above it by just letting it go.
You can choose to rise above it by forgiving what you thought was unforgivable.
You can choose to rise above it by learning and changing your actions the next time around.
You can choose to rise above it by rejecting the lies and clinging to the truth.

There is a time and a place for every emotion, for anger, for sadness, for sorrow, for doubt, and yet I have learned the hard way just how emotions can become well-loved clothes that you never can quite take off. You can wear a coat of anger and sorrow for years and never know how heavy it is. You can wear a scarf of doubt and mis-trust for so long that you never realize it’s strangling you.

Authenticity calls us to let go. Authenticity calls us to be free from such heavy burdens. Authenticity asks us to rise above our pasts, our blips on the map, our world-altering moments and let them hold a greater purpose by serving someone else, by loving someone else, by reaching out to someone else, and by just getting out of ourselves. You know, our stories will always be our stories, but you must also know that our stories do not have to define what has yet to be written.

-Authentically Me

The Huffington post wrote an interesting article about the 12 things that make happy people different...check it out and let me know your thoughts!

The Things Happy People Do....

-Authentically Me

Bare It All

Dare To Go Bare.....

We glance at each other casually, we sip coffee or tea or diet coke, we ask the usual questions...how's the family....how's school/work going...and then we get to the big one...So How Are You?

How many of us actually answer that simple question honestly and authentically the first time around? Not many.

The conversations normally go a little something like this:




"How are you?" Friend One asks.

"I'm fine." Friend Two replies.

"So what's been going on lately." Friend One asks.

"Not much." Friend Two replies. "I've got a couple of tests/projects due next week."

-----5 minutes later-------

"How's the family?" Friend One can tell by Friend Two's lack of direct eye contact and plastered smile that there is definitely something underneath the surface but she is definitely not wanting to share.

"Pretty good." Friend Two's eyes glance at Friend One and then she gets distracted by a cute boy/awkward social moment she sees/or just stares into space.

-----20 minutes later-------

"I have no idea what to do, you know? I mean one day he totally is texting me/calling me wanting to go get coffee and the next it's like nothing happened!" Friend Two wipes a tear that escapes her eye. "I mean what's wrong with me? Why would he just jet out like that?"

----The End------

Why can't we begin our conversations the way we know they are going to end?

Let's skip over the beginning and middle section of our "walls" and just DARE TO GO BARE.

What would it be like if the next time your friend asked you, "How are you?", you actually gave a real, up-front, genuine, honest answer? Try it and see. You might be surprised by their response.

It could go a little something like this:

"How are you?" Friend One asks.

"You know what I'm actually pissed off. I had the worst day today and I feel like there is all of this crap that I can't control and I have no idea how to move forward. My heart is being broken by this guy who is so hot and then totally cold and I literally have no idea what to do!" Friend Two replies. 

"Friend Two, I am so sorry! That sounds awful, I have totally been there too. " Friend One sighs. "I am so glad you were honest about that, because I have felt so alone sometimes as if I was the only one who dealt with it." 

----Friend One and Friend Two spend the next 20 minutes sharing life with each other and helping one another get through the heartache together-----

If I had to choose between conversation one and conversation two, I would always choose the later. 

So much of our lives we hide, we cover. We are still stuck back in the garden in shame and fear. We are so terrified that other women will think we are less than, sub-par, beneath where we should be, as if the hardships of life are something that we should be ashamed of. 

Some of us even go so far as to end our conversations with a "Jesus is in control.", "It'll all be alright.", "I know He has a plan.", "I trust him." These quick and short blanket sentences make us feel better, like it helps us that the other person heard it, as if saying it suddenly makes us alright in their eyes or moves us back up to normal, fine, okay, good, and smooth sailing in life. 

If those statements are genuinely true and you, like Job, are praising God in the storm than by all means shout them during a season of suffering! However, I find that more and more times it isn't these circumstances, it is us as women wanting to put back on the masks we wear 98% of the time. 

The real truth I have found is this, we can't be honest and authentic with others because we can't be honest and authentic with ourselves first. So I challenge you this week to GO BARE... first within your own heart!

GO BARE by confessing to yourself all the things that have been pushed down and down within you.

GO BARE by admitting the mask you wear.

GO BARE by recognizing when you put that mask on....what makes you hide within yourself?

And then GO BARE with another trusted friend....

GO BARE by confessing how you really feel when they ask, "How are you?".

GO BARE by letting them see the real, authentic you.

-Authentically ME

Authentically You

Be Authentically You.

That’s our challenge. Living in a world of copy and paste, how can we as women be genuinely and authentically us?

Checking out of conformities, this sphere of technology is about rethinking our “reality” and taking a courageous dive into living life as a real and authentic person.

Authenticity is defined as “of undisputed origin”. You could think of it as genuine, real, bona fide, true, or as I might say epically legit. A second definition goes on to say “made or done in a way that faithfully resembles an original”. The origin, aka root, of the word authentic comes from the Greek “authentikos” meaning genuine/principal.

So in Emily translation it means…just being you for exactly who you are. 

Here’s the kicker though, authenticity is in everyway and in every essence founded and rooted in an "original". In a way authenticity is a real, genuine and faithful representation of something greater, of something truly "original".

In thinking about “being authentic", here is something to ponder. The more rooted you are in the origin, the more connected you are to the "original", the more authenticity you have.

What are you rooted in? Because odds are your life is reflecting it right now regardless of what it is. 

If you love art then odds are you have sharpie marks on your hands from doodling in your notebook. 

If you love reading then odds are you have 5-6 books stacked against your nightstand.

If you love music you probably are listening to it right now. 

If you love photography, how many Instgram pics do you have again? 

If you are a writer than you are probably editing my errors. 

If you are a mom…if you are a runner….if you are a chef…a dancer…you get the point.

Our lives are a reflection of our passions.

Our passions are a reflection of our dreams.

Our dreams are a reflection of who we are.

Who we are is rooted in our original…….so what is your original?

This is the exact point where I must choose to be authentically me....my root, my origin is Jesus.

Without that simple sentence every word I ever think, process, edit, write, submit here means nothing and has absolutely no purpose. From this one truth flows this entire sphere of technology and the scribblings upon it.

My passion is to sort through the mess of culture, society, expectations, perfection, fears, insecurities, pressures of simply living and breathing as woman in this world in the hope that we together might journey in the search of being Authentically You.

-Authentically ME

Diving In Soon

DIVING IN SOON: Blog Will Officially Launch September 12, 2013