Life's Little Surprises

What is beauty? 
Every woman has thought about this question.

What is beauty? 

Every woman has tried to answer it.

What is beauty? 

Every woman has sought to measure up to it.

At this point in this post, I can do one of two things. I can dive in and try to convince you to live authentically in your own beauty...or I can start by just telling you a part of my own story.

As a child I was told two very distinct messages:

Message One: You are beautiful.

My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman, inside and out, and growing up I was told that I looked just like her. “Oh, your just as beautiful as your Momma!" "You look just like your mother did at your age.” “Aren’t you just the spittin image of your mother!” As a child I found it both comforting and at the same time daunting, for I was simultaneously given approval by others and yet a measure in which to base my own beauty. If my mom was considered beautiful and I somewhat looked like her then a+b=c.

Message Two: You are not beautiful.

Media, friends, magazines, family, movies, teachers, and classmates all in different ways in different moments stated the same message. That message was being beautiful means being a certain size, looking a certain way, having that certain body type. So the take away from all those experiences was that I was not beautiful unless I fit into the mold of “that certain body type”. So once again a+b = c.

Now if you’ve paid attention, you may notice that Message One and Message Two completely contradict one another. So what could I do given those mixed messages? Well, I personally chose to believe that in some way I was acceptable but just not ever quite enough, I would just never be enough for x or y or z. 

Let's face it, beauty is at the very core of who we are as women, the desire for it, the achievement of it, the rejection of it, the complacency of it. You get the idea. Regardless of how we may think or feel about the subject, at some point in all of our lives we must face the question: what do I think beauty is and what am I going to do about it…

I myself have had to look into the mirror (forgive the expression) on this subject. My own journey in the question of beauty has been up and down and all around over the course of my life. However, there have been several “little surprises” along the way that have helped open up my eyes to the truth.

A week ago I did something I never thought I would ever do, emphasis on the ever. A week ago I completed my first “official” modeling gig. This whole endeavor began two years ago when I had the opportunity to be introduced to and spend time with one of the most wonderful families, the Radtke’s. It was then that I learned how Peter and Magda Radtke, along with their daughter Antje, owned and operated a small business called JustNeem.

For those of you who don’t know, JustNeem (justneem.com) is a for profit company with a non-profit mind-set, meaning that their overall goal is to help support the people of Mauritania by supporting job creation, economic development, and neem tree planting. The neem tree has high-medicinal qualities that have been used for centuries. JustNeem uses the oil from the Neem tree to produce unbelievable body and skin care items such as soaps, lotions, etc. All their products are made with the finest cosmetic grade raw materials and contain naturally grown neem and other pure ingredients that help sustain healthy and soothe irritated skin. Their neem comes from their own orchards grown organically in the deserts of Africa. One of their unique products is the straight neem oil which can be used for anything from a bug bite to a burn, to simply refreshing the skin. One of my favorites is their Neem Clay Mask! (You’ll see why soon!)

                             

A couple of months ago, Magda reached out and asked me to help model for them in their upcoming tutorial video for their JustNeem Clay Mask. Despite my general nervousness about my lack of experience, I agreed whole-heartedly simply because I love them and I believe absolutely in their product and what they are doing!

So there I was last Monday in The Skin Care Spa (skinspaofwakeforest.com) in Wakeforest, NC. I was covered in a green mask, acting as best as I could, and remaining as serene as possible while a licensed esthetician, Lisa, taught a DIY facial via camera. I am not going to lie, it was the most surreal, fun, laughing-induced, crazy, and simply fantastic four hours I have had in a long time. The video itself will be out hopefully before the holidays and I will of course do a follow-up so that you can see it live in action!

In this life there are little surprises. They are unexpected experiences that bring joy and new life to our souls. These little surprises, in my experience, often bring about truth where there was once a lie. It strikes the core of who we are and what we believe about ourselves. By doing something completely out of my normal zone like spending a morning modeling a green face mask, I was able to open myself up to experience one of those core-striking, truth-revealing moments.

I was once again reminded that Message 2: You Are Not Beautiful will always be there. Someone, something, some ad, some commercial, will always be telling you to be more, to be less, to be this, to be that. Yet, the hardest truth for some of us is that we have always been the ones telling ourselves that message. “I am not beautiful because of x or y or z.”

However, Message 1: You Are Beautiful can only be true if we claim it. You can be told your whole life that you are an incredibly beautiful person, but if you don’t accept it, let yourself receive it, take it in, believe it, and claim the truth of it for yourself…it means absolutely nothing.

I have come to decide for myself that beauty is not arrogance, beauty is not pride, beauty is not narcissism or vanity, beauty is certainly not a certain size or look. Beauty is graciousness, beauty is truth-telling, beauty is peacefulness and steadfastness in trials, beauty is being humble, beauty is a passionate heart, beauty is thoughtful wisdom, beauty is a loving gaze and a kind embrace. Beauty is loving who you are for who you are. The way of beauty is a shift-gazing outlook and inlook at our world and ourselves.

Bobbi Brown, creator of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, once said that, “The secret to beauty is simple, be who you are.” I love Bobbi Brown and her philosophy, yet I would add that the secret to beauty is simple…be authentically you.

-Authentically Me