REDefining You

One week ago today a group of young women spent a weekend REDefining their realities.

For the past two years I have been "diving into" life with these extraordinary young women. I have the privilege and the honor to walk along side them in the joyous and the fearful, the giggly and the tearful, the exciting engagements and the sorrowful goodbyes to first loves. We simply live life weekly together as women and we try to live it authentically. 

I challenged them at our get-away-from-stressed-out-college-life retreat this past weekend to REDefine You. I challenged them to choose one word that has attached itself, that has permeated their mind and identity, a word that has defined their past, a word that has chained their hearts, wounded their souls, a word, an identity, that needs to be REDefined.

Here are just a few of the real, genuine, bona fide, authentic truths of their brave hearts: 

We spend our lives defining ourselves in the negative. We are consumed by shame and guilt from our past, insecurity of the present, and fear of the future. So much of who we are is defined by these iron words. Our lives, our actions, our behavior is dictated by these thoughts, fears, and uncertainties. 

For me the majority of my life was defined by the notion that I was simply invisible. The reverberateing message I received from the world, from peers, from friends, from family was second-born, second-loved, second-best, nothing important, looked over, third-wheel, fifth-wheel, unwanted, not needed. Who I was was simply no one. No one worthy of love or attention. I was just invisible. 

The up front and honest truth is that all of these words are not THE TRUTH. They are lies that we hold on to, lies that we claim as true. Lies, iron claims that must be utterly abolished. Our identities are so weaved into the un-truths that we must first REDefine our reality. We must first replace that lie with the ultimate truth and we must claim it that day, this day, and everyday.

It must however be a truth that is defined not by the world, our friends, our families, or even ourselves. It must be a truth, a wonderful claim, that Jesus defines. It is His truth that changes, it is His claim over our hearts that transform our identities of shame, of guilt, of insecurity, of uncertainty into something more beautiful, something more intimate, something more powerful than we could ever imagine. It is that resounding truth that His eyes of liquid love see when He looks upon us.

These are the unchaining, unchanging truths that He REDefined within these beautiful young women: 

 Insecure to CONFIDENT

Acceptance to UNCONDITIONAL Love

 Negative to TRUE

Isolation to FULFILLMENT

Lost to PURSUED

Uncertainty to PEACE

Disappointed to JOY & Blessed

 Fearfully Searching To Still Searching BUT With Peace of Mind

Bound By Legalism To FREE In Christ 

 Unaccepted to LOVED

LOST To Heading For A PERFECT Destination

 Self-Destructive To SAVED

 Insufficient To PEACE

 Fearful To FAITHFUL

I have lived the majority of my life held down by the notion that I just don't matter. That who I am is wrong, messed up, not enough, or not wanted. My REDefining truth is the profound idea that Jesus just sees me.

Jesus sees everything, my past, my present, my future. His eyes of abounding love simply see me in all my authenticity and He can't help but smile for He made it that way.

What lie are you claiming that simply isn't true? What truth is He whispering to you that He hopes you might claim too? Let go and release. Let yourself be REDefined by Him.

-AUTHENTICALLY ME

Live The Dream

I am an avid dreamer. It doesn't matter if I am asleep or awake my mind can't tell the difference for it is in a constant dream-thinking mode. Far off places, crazy situations, hopeful experiences, fantastical tales, adventures, or even simple desirable moments, I have been creating stories in my head since before I can even remember. At times it seems like those dreams, those fantasies are more real, more genuine to me than any true memory. It's no wonder I love movies and novels so much...straight good 'ole wish fulfillment. 

The perpetual question, however, that reverberates through my mind is the heart-wrenching thought: can our dreams, our wishes, our hopes ever really come true? I mean Disney programmed us to believe they do, but do they? Can we ever truly Live The Dream? 

American culture tells us there is no glass ceiling anymore. We can have our cake and eat it to. Everyone can attain whatever they wish if they just work hard enough. Dream big or go home. Reach for the stars and one day you'll get there, the American dream to the max and beyond. Is this truly reality....or are we just simply setting ourselves up for failure? 

A friend once told me, shoot for the stars but don't be surprised if you hit the moon. I remember laughing and thinking the allegory was quite heartbreaking. Over the years I have begun to see the beauty in the surprise. We dream, we dream big, but sometimes our dreams never shape out the way we always thought they would. For some this can cause a deep sadness and for others a gentle smile at what wonderful thing came instead.  

In dreaming do we set ourselves up for failure? In my experience there cannot be one without the other. Rarely, if ever, do our dreams come true without a little failure or loss along the way. Our dreams are innate to who we are. They are weaved into our very identity. It's the pursuit of them that can be the hardest challenge we face for it requires the fortitude to believe that they can one day come true regardless of the losses that form in our way. It's the battle, the pursuit, and the strength of character to see them through that defines the very core of who we are. 

My brother defines fortitude. He has pursued his dream with abounding character and grace, always looking forward to what could be. His inspirational fight for his dream has touched many and a few days ago I got the call. His dream is now a reality. His setbacks paved the way for his future. I couldn't be more proud of him, not for what he achieved but how he achieved it. 

What does it mean to Live The Dream? Living the dream is the pursuit, the hopeful fulfillment of a desire yet to be obtained. In truth, we all are living daily in the pursuit of our dreams. The better question is why do you dream what you dream? Why do you want what you want? Our dreams spring forth from the deepest desires of our hearts. Loneliness seeks constant companionship. Abandonment pursues self-affirmation. Insecurity clings to fame and fortune. Where do your desires, your wants, your hopes, your wishes stem from? A part of knowing where you want to be is knowing where you are. Get to know you; you might just be surprised what your dreams tell you. 

One of the many blissful, beautiful, and joyful moments found in this life is the pleasure that comes from a dream fought for and then fulfilled. Isn't that why we dream so that one-day we can have those moments where they come true? So that the part of us that wished and hoped, the part that needed and wanted to fill a void is finally whole? 

Almost a year ago I got to Live My Dream, a dream that I had dreamed for ten years. I was able to see and do what I had always wanted to do in a way that I had never expected. My dream was fulfilled above and beyond my wildest imaginations. I was able to speak, to help, to be exactly what I always wanted to be. After years of hoping, after years of almost and could-haves it finally became a reality. Yet, the void still remains. 

Fulfilled dreams don't fill the void. They can bring joy. They can bring happiness. They can bring moments of blissful delight and unexpected peace. They can transform our lives and bring us to a place we never thought we would be. Just as innate as our dreams are to our identity so is the void. At the core of us is the desperate desire for more. We want more, dream more, want to live more, be more. Always more. 

There is no easy and simple cure for the void, for the more. The only remedy, the only healing is a daily surrender of ourselves to something greater, to something better, to something that we all are a part of. There is nothing more fulfilling than the authentic promise of what is yet to come. I have seen a glimmer, a soft haze of it, that indescribable beauty. The real and first true dream that will one day be made manifest. 

-Authentically Me