It's that time of year in which every college student goes into finals mode. The two-week crisis of ending exams and twenty-something page papers. Graduation is on the horizon for many, with the ever present, "what's your plan?" echoing on repeat.
It's that time of dreaded spring cleaning, the time of getting rid of the old and making way for the new.
It's that time for trying to figure out how you can get back into those shorts and bathing suit which have been purposefully stashed into the back of the dresser for nine months.
It's that time of allergies and pollen covering everything and anything that can stay still for five seconds.
Spring brings with it change. The trees are budding with color, the grass is sprouting, the flowers in bloom. Spring brings transition from dark to light to even lighter as summer draws nearer. Some of us even begin to emotionally come out of our winter hibernations. Seasonal hiding out due to darkened early nights or cold weather can no longer be an excuse. Life begins calling us forward.
For me, the last month has been all about change. It seems that it's that time filled with "lasts" and "soon-to-be's" so to speak. I am happy to say that I will be transitioning into a new phase of my own life as I head back to school for my Master's degree. A new stage of life which I couldn't be more happy about. Yet, with this new found switch comes the chaos of moving all the pieces into place. Trying to simply keep my head down, to do all that is in front of me so that I can just get from point A to point B in one solid piece.
The to-do lists get higher, the stress gets bigger, the expectations loom larger and the recovering type-A in me begins to slip up and I go into full blown control extreme mode just to get through the days sane. And all the while an ever-present whisper echoes, "just breathe."
One of my favorite scenes is in Ever After. Danielle stands high above a crowd of scrutinizing guests beautifully dressed with the weight of her most important task before her. This is her biggest moment. For those of you who haven't seen the film, I won't ruin it, but BlockButler says see it. Standing there with the weight of her immediate world on her shoulders she simply closes her eyes and tells herself to, "just breathe."
Our immediate world is insane. Our immediate world is demanding to the extreme. Our immediate world is full of lists to the moon and back of things that need to get done. Our immediate world is screaming for our attention and action. Our immediate world is suffocating us.
In this flicker of a life we must learn how to just breathe. We must learn how to take on each day as just what it is, one day. One day at a time. One moment at a time. Our minds can become consumed with all the little things that they begin to snowball and intertwine into a massive anxiety ridden frenzy. Stop the frenzy, better yet let go of the frenzy and just breathe.
A part of being authentic is admitting when you are struggling for breath. A part of living life in a real and honest way is admitting when you are over you head and need help. Don't be afraid to reach out to others when it is "just gets hard to breathe". Find a few help-mates who can lessen the load and help you begin to breathe again. Odds are they just might be feeling that way too.
You will be surprised just how much easier the mountain high to-do list looks when you stop and rest your mind for a few seconds. Next time you feel yourself suffocating with the immediate world just take a moment wherever you are. In class, while out shopping, in front of your closet, at your desk, in the car...just turn of your mind for one moment and just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe.
While in Thailand last May, I was told the story of the lotus flower. A remarkable flower that begins to sprout in mud and continues to grow underwater in murky ponds until it finally breaches the surface and blooms in radiance atop the water. It grows in the midst of struggle only to end in true beauty.We are all at times just stuck in the mud, struggling underwater for breath, hoping to just reach the surface at some point and breathe. Although it may seem like it will never get here, a time will come when we finally do break the water and come out the other side. The better question is not how we do it but, who are we when we reach the other side of the struggle. Did the mud, grim, and drowning water make us harder, bitter, more closed? Or rather did it make us stronger, more thankful, more understandable, more trusting, more hopeful, more beautifully open?
The choice is always ours. We can choose to just put our heads down and get through it or we can choose to accept that this is refining us, preparing us, bringing us closer to something greater, something even more wonderful than we could imagine.
I choose to be refined in mud and suffering. I choose to be prepared for radiance. What are you going to choose?
-Authentically Me
