98% Positive

A friend of mine called me last week. She said, "I'm 98% positive you're going to say no...". For a moment I laughed and proceeded to think of what request she could possibly have. What could she possibly need that she was 98% positive I was going to say no to? 

It was then that I caught the end of her proposal. Beach. The Beach. A Beach. Any Beach. Would I care to spend the next week in Longboat Key, Florida? It took me an exact millisecond to reply..."I'm 98% positive I'm going to say yes!".

If there is one thing I have learned in my twenties it's this: be spontaneous. As a recovering type-A, the concept of spontaneity is a hard one to grapple with. It's not that spontaneity is seen as a bad thing, or something that is unenjoyable, rather it's the action of being spontaneous that poses a problem. Being spontaneous involves lack of forethought, it involves trusting that everything will just work out, a no-fear-just-live-in-the-moment mentality. A mentality, which up until three years ago, I was 98% positive was so-not-authentically-me.

Fast forward three years, three years of life experience, three years of diving into life as authentically me and here I am jumping off a boat into the ocean at sunset just because I can. I'm still a recovering type-A. I still like to plan and make to-do lists. I still seem to set unrealistic expectations. However, I also know it's important to live life in the present and not be so fearful of the future.

Time and regret bring with it one conclusion. In life there are moments where you can choose to go with the normal or take a chance and be a part of the unexpected. I'm 98% positive I will always go with the later.

Here's to living life as authentically-spontanteously-me:

-Authentically Me

Try

This last month I have been...trying.

Trying to figure out grad-school. 

Trying to live back in my home town. 

Trying to maintain friendships. 

Trying to make new friends. 

Trying to forgive. 

Trying to forget. 

Trying to be me. 

Trying to let go. 

Trying to explore new opportunities. 

Trying to write. 

Trying to live free. 

Trying to heal. 

Trying to studying. 

Trying to work. 

Trying to say good-bye. 

Trying to welcome new changes.

Trying to...

Trying to...

Trying to...

Trying to...

Trying to...

I'm tired. Tired of trying to work hard for others, to meet other's expectations, but mostly trying to live up to my own expectations. It was one of those days. I was driving to and from, going here and then there, my mind consumed with all that needed to be done. Consumed, really, with all that I had to do. 

Then this song came on the radio. Try by Colbie Caillat. I instantly rolled my windows down, letting my hair be caught by the wind and allowing a smile to cross my face. 

Put your make-up on

Get your nails done

Curl your hair

Run the extra mile

Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on

Don't be shy, girl

Take it off

This is what you want, to belong, so they like you

Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to, give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try

Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards

You don't have to choose, buy it all, so they like you

Do they like you?

Wait a second,

Why, should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you?

Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to, give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to bend until you break

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to, give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing.

You don't have to try

Take your make-up off

Let your hair down

Take a breath

Look into the mirror, at yourself

Don't you like you?

'Cause I like you

I don't have to try so hard, I don't have to bend until I break because at the end of the day I really do like me. I really do love this wonderful extraordinary life. I am thankful for today and you know tomorrow really will take care of itself. 

You don't have to try so hard. You don't have to bend until you break. Let yourself love yourself. Let yourself love your life. Let yourself be thankful for all that life has to offer. Let yourself be in the present. Let tomorrow really take care of itself. 

-Authentically Me